daisysusan: (stock: almost the winklecats)
[personal profile] daisysusan
Title: Purr, Purr, Purr
Author: [livejournal.com profile] daisysusan  
Fandom: The Social Network
Genre: Gen, humor
Characters: Chris, Dustin, Mark, Eduardo
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1560
Summary: Dustin turns into a kitten.
Notes: (1) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, [livejournal.com profile] opheliahyde! (2) Unbetaed, but many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] scorpiod1 for her help. (3) This is twice as long as I really meant for it to be. Whoops. Also, because it bears repeating, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HEATHER!


Purr, Purr, Purr

It takes Chris a moment to figure out what he's seeing. He squints drowsily across the room—why weren't 8 AM classes considered cruel and unusual punishment?— and tries to figure out if there's some reason Dustin might be up at 7:15, despite not having class until noon.

Because his bed is definitely empty. The covers are lying flat except for a few lumps, and Dustin isn't on top of them.

On a weekend, maybe, Chris wouldn't be quite as concerned, but it's Tuesday morning and he distinctly remembers Dustin crawling into bed around 1:30 last night. He'd mumbled a good-night to Chris, who was already half-asleep, and promptly curled up under the covers.

And now he's gone.

Chris hauls himself out of bed and rubs his eyes as he crosses the room to further examine Dustin's empty bed—and that's when he sees it.

Curled up again the pillow is a tiny orange kitten. It's purring softly, and is possibly the cutest thing Chris has ever seen.

Unconsciously, he reaches down to pet it.

The kitten snuffles softly and shifts minutely towards Chris’s hand, and he scratches the soft fur behind its ears. When it yawns and rolls over onto its back, he’s completely charmed. Sitting down, he rubs gently at its stomach and listens to it purr loudly.

And then he remembers two things. First, Dustin is still MIA and second, pets aren’t allowed in the dorms.

Chris picks the kitten up and curls it against his chest and, still petting it absently, walks into the common room. There, Eduardo is lying on the couch, sound asleep with a textbook on his chest. When Chris accidentally trips over someone’s shoes strewn haphazard on the floor, the kitten mewls loudly and Eduardo jerks awake.

“Huh?” he says.

“Good morning,” Chris whispers. “You fell asleep on the couch.”

“Oh,” Eduardo says, frowning. He stretches briefly and turns to look at Chris, at which point his mouth drops open and his eyes go—wider. “Are you holding a kitten?” he asks loudly.

Looking down at the fluffy ball of orange fur that’s still purring against him, Chris answers, “Well, yeah.”

How did you get a kitten?” Eduardo says, clearly completely dumbstruck.

“I don’t know,” Chris says. “He was asleep in Dustin’s bed when I woke up this morning.” He pauses for a moment, and then adds, “And Dustin wasn’t there.”

Eduardo stares at him blankly. “Do you think that Dustin turned into a cat or something?”

“What?” Chris says. And then, when that doesn’t seem to express his confusion enough, “What?”

Laughing slightly, Eduardo says, “I’m still half-asleep. I have no idea what I’m saying.”

Right then, the kitten starts squirming against Chris’s arm, claws working into his skin, and Chris drops it in surprise.

Predictably spry, the kitten lands on its feet and scampers off across the room.

“It is a cute kitten,” Eduardo says, smiling slightly.

“And cuddly, too,” Chris adds.

He clearly needs to drink a lot of coffee, because the next thought that comes through his mind is that Dustin’s hair looks a little bit like the kitten’s, and Dustin is pretty damn cuddly, and maybe Eduardo was onto something when he said that Dustin could have turned into a cat.

It is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing Chris has ever thought.

Except that maybe it isn’t. Because if Dustin were to be a kitten, Chris’s pretty sure he’d be exactly like this one, purring every time someone touched him and flopping over to get his stomach rubbed and completely captivated by anything exciting that he could play with. (Right now, the kitten-who-definitely-cannot-be-Dustin-because-that-is-impossible is attacking a piece of paper that got left on the floor. It flutters every time he pounces on it, and he’s completely fascinated by the motion.)

But Chris actually does have an 8 AM class and he isn’t exactly dressed or fed, so he says, “Hey, Eduardo, can you watch the kitten for a couple hours while I go to class?”

Eduardo, because he is really a very nice person, answers with, “Yeah, sure, no problem,” even though it probably is a problem. Chris feels slightly guilty for that, but the illegal cat wasn’t his fault and he just wants it to be taken care of. It’s not worth beating himself up over.

Besides, when he gets back from class, he finds the kitten curled up in Eduardo’s lap in front of the econ textbook propped there, sound asleep while Eduardo pets him absently.

Shortly afterward, probably roused by the slamming of the suite door behind Chris, Mark stumbles into the common room. He flops down onto the other end of the couch and promptly does a double take on Eduardo.

“You have a cat,” he says, voice completely flat.

“Chris found him this morning,” Eduardo deflects.

“He was asleep in Dustin’s bed!” Chris protests, because Mark will probably disapprove of the cat’s presence on the grounds that it’ll disrupt his coding or something equally ridiculous.

Instead, Mark says, “Did you feed him?”

“Shit, no,” Chris says.

“Give him some of my tuna,” Mark says, surprisingly astute and thoughtful, especially considering he just woke up.

Chris does just that, smiling as the kitten curls endlessly around his ankles and clearly excited at the prospect of tuna. When he puts the bowl of drained fish on the floor, the little thing nearly squeaks in excitement, and tries to eat it so quickly he makes a huge mess of it.

Eduardo has to go to class after that, but the now-fed orange fluffball settles down next by Mark and sprawls across his laptop, nosing at the moving cursor and Mark’s flying fingers. Whenever Mark tries to edge him out of the way, he meows petulantly and goes straight back to pouncing on the keyboard.

It is, without a doubt, something purely Dustin—the silliness, the deliberate aggravation of Mark, the playfulness.

“I think Dustin may have turned into that kitten,” Chris says, the words measured.

Mark looks down at the hyperactive orange animal that’s still watching his fingers intently, and then up at Chris. “The cat definitely acts a lot like Dustin,” he says cautiously. “And no one has seen him today.”

“Yeah,” Chris says. He bites his lip, and reaches down to scratch the cat’s ears. “Maybe we should just see what happens tomorrow?”

In reply, Mark nods, and then says, “Can you at least get him off my computer? I’m trying to code.”

Chris pulls the kitten into his arms and nuzzles him a little. In response, he purrs loudly and snuggles closer. “You are just the sweetest little kitten, aren’t you?” Chris coos, though he’s slightly embarrassed when Mark looks over at him.

“Shut up, he’s adorable and you know it,” he grouses.

And Mark does know it, because he willingly watches the kitten when Chris has a couple of classes in the afternoon, and Chris gets back, clutching some extra chicken from the dining hall, to see them snuggled together and Mark speaking softly to the purring animal.

“I knew it,” he says, and Mark looks up.

“You were cooing. You have no ground to stand on.”

“Whatever,” Chris snaps, but there’s no viciousness behind it.

He spends the evening pretending to study and actually watching the kitten pounce energetically around the room, chasing after spots of light and flecks of dust. By the time he’s about to fall asleep on the couch, the kitten (whom he refuses to think of as “Dustin”) is sitting on the floor, looking drowsy.

Chris scoops him up on his way into his room, and lets him curl up against the pillow of his bed. Shortly after, he crawls into bed himself and falls asleep snuggled with the purring kitten.

The next morning, he wakes up entirely too close to the edge of his bed for his comfort. When he opens his eyes to investigate the reason, he realizes that Dustin is squished between him and the wall.

And naked.

In his hurry to get away from the mysterious naked Dustin in his bed, Chris does actually fall on the floor, but at least he’s not groping his roommate or anything.

The noise wakes Dustin up, and he squints down at his chest, poking it tentatively. “Why am I naked and in your bed?” There’s a pause, and then he says, “Did we have sex?”

Chris flushes horribly—he can feel his face turning red—and says, quickly, “No. No no no no. We definitely didn’t have sex.”

“Oh,” Dustin says, “Damn.”

“Um,” Chris begins, trying to decide how crazy Dustin will think he is, “You were kind of a kitten all day yesterday.”

Dustin’s eyes go wide, and he says, “What?”

“Yeah,” Chris says. “You were tiny and orange and fluffy and tried to chase Mark’s fingers while he was coding. It was disgustingly adorable.”

At this, Dustin grins. “I always knew I would make a cute kitten.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “You also talked a lot less. It was kind of nice.”

And then, rather unexpectedly, Dustin looks crestfallen. “Do you really like me better as a cat?”

Taking in his hurt face, and also how weird it had been to spend a whole day in the suite without Dustin's open chatter, Chris says, “Not even a little bit.”

The answering smile on Dustin’s face is painfully wide.

Date: 2011-08-15 06:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] opheliahyde.livejournal.com
YOU WROTE ME DUSTIN-AS-A-KITTEN FIC. YOU WROTE ME DUSTIN-AS-A-KITTEN FIC. WITH VISUAL AIDES.

*FLAILS AROUND MAKING RIDICULOUS NOISES*

This was SO, SO adorable. I REALLY CANNOT WITH HOW DISGUSTINGLY CUTE THIS WAS. I just want to roll around in this cuteness FOREVER AND EVER. Thank you so very much, bb! *clutches fic to her chest and never lets go*
Edited Date: 2011-08-15 06:15 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-08-15 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
I DID IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

Can I roll around in the cuteness with you? I feel like us rolling around with kittens would be an appropriate expression of our friendship, ngl.

ALSO I LOVE YOU. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT?

Date: 2011-08-15 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scorpiod1.livejournal.com
YOU HAVE KILLED ME WITH CUTENESS AND NOW I AM DEAD. I AM DEEEAAAAD *DEAD ON THE FLOOR* THIS IS THE CUTEST FUCKING THING EVER AND OMMGGG KITTY AND EVERYONE FINDING THE KITTY ADOOOORBS AND THE ENDING IS THE SWEETEST AND EEEEEEEEEK *___*

Date: 2011-08-15 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
NO DON'T BE DEAD, I WILL MISS YOU. ♥ I'm glad you enjoyed my explosion of cuteness.

Date: 2011-08-15 08:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oflights.livejournal.com
aslhjdjljl I adore you, omg. DUSTIN IS THE CUTEST GINGER KITTY EVER AWWWWW. I love how everyone basically melts all over him, and there really isn't much of a difference between kitty!Dustin and human!Dustin in terms of cuddliness, and that even Mark melts, awwww.

god there needs to be more cat fics, forever. this is amazing and adorable. <3

Date: 2011-08-15 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thank you! ♥ DUSTIN WOULD SO BE THE CUTEST GINGER KITTY EVER. And also a very snuggly kitty.

And all the fics should be cat fics. There should just ALWAYS be cats.

Date: 2011-08-15 08:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] indecentexposed.livejournal.com
I AM DYING. I AM ACTUALLY DEAD.

I WANT KITTEN!DUSTIN TO SLEEP ON MY PILLOW.

AND THE CHRIS/DUSTIN AT THE END.

I CANNOT.

AKJLKF:JK:DJKLGJD:FJD:KLFDS.

Date: 2011-08-15 03:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
NO COME BACK TO ME I WILL MISS YOU IF YOU ARE DEAD.

♥♥ I'm glad you enjoyed this exercise in ridiculousness.

Date: 2011-08-15 01:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hapakitsune.livejournal.com
KITTENS <3

(I wish I had something better, but it's early and I'm tired. Um. I like the kittens you chose to be Dustin? Also Chris cooing at him.)

Date: 2011-08-15 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
KITTENS. I'm glad you enjoyed the cuteness. :D

Date: 2011-08-15 01:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merisunshine36.livejournal.com
KITTEN! DUSTIN VS. MARK'S LAPTOP FOR THE WIN!

Seriously, this is the best thing ever.

Date: 2011-08-15 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2011-08-15 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] breakthat.livejournal.com
oh my god kittens. i wish i had anything more substantial to say but kittens, kittens, kittens.

brb /dying/ of cute. especially the picture with the kitten and the toy thing with the other kitten staring at it KITTENS.

Date: 2011-08-15 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
KITTENS FOREVER. THEY ARE MY FAVORITES.

kittens kittens kittens kittens kittens kittens fic kittens kittens cute boys kittens kittens TV kittens kittens kittens kittens <-- this has been a brief forray into Maggie's brain

Date: 2011-08-15 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] waluk.livejournal.com
♥___♥

Date: 2011-08-15 05:39 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-08-15 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rei17.livejournal.com
OMG!!!!!
I JUST DIED!
ON MY GRAVESTONE THEY HAVE TO PUT: "CAUSE OF DEATH: UTTER CUTENESS" AND WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT!
OMG! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
This is like the CUTEST THING EVER!
I couldn't possibly love Dustin anymore than I do and then you went ahead and TURNED HIM INTO A TINY ADORABLE ORANGE LITTLE CAT!
HE HAD EVEN MARK MELTING! *_____*
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!
And the ending - awwwww, sooo sweet. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Can we turn Dustin into a cat more often, please, please?
Like during the depositions? Dustin is a cat and he's gone and Mark and Wardo reunite to find him because Chris is clearly panicking and everything! *coughs*
Sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about! Clearly my brain has just melted ...

Date: 2011-08-16 01:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed this absurdity. And Dustin should ALWAYS be a cat. ♥

Date: 2011-08-15 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yellowwolf5.livejournal.com
I was just thinking the other day that there needs to be more Mark or Eduardo or Chris or Dustin as kittens (or animals in general) or potted plants and today there is this! woooo. aww, kitten!Dustin is so cute. ♥ cute fic!

Date: 2011-08-16 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thanks! Kitten!Dustin would be the cutest, for reals.

Date: 2011-08-15 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwaihiril.livejournal.com
That's completely adorable! I love the pics; sometimes having extra links interrupts the flow of reading, but I clicked on the first one and just went "omg that's so cute", and really enjoyed seeing all the rest of them.

Date: 2011-08-16 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad the pictures weren't too disruptive.

Date: 2011-08-15 10:22 pm (UTC)
ext_24538: (tsn} j/a)
From: [identity profile] xbriyeon.livejournal.com
LOL this was so silly but cute xD

Date: 2011-08-16 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2011-08-16 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yunsi.livejournal.com
This was ridiculously adorable. <3 Lol at Mark being the practical one, suggesting tuna.

Really minor thing, think this is missing a word: He spends the evening pretending to study and actually the kitten pounce energetically around the room.

Date: 2011-08-17 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thank you!

And fixed, thanks a mil. :)

Date: 2011-08-18 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lovesletyoudown.livejournal.com
AUGHHH I THINK I NEED NEW TEETH THIS IS TOO ADORABLY SWEET

the kitten network forever!!

i love mark here so much omg. can't feed himself, but feeds the cat & getting bothered by dustin & snuggling & ahhhh let me dieeee

and awww chris at the end getting all embarrassed & the sweetness, I CANNOT STAND IT

Date: 2011-08-18 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed this! ♥♥

Date: 2011-08-18 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] josiethechi.livejournal.com
This is so adorable! I want a Dustin kitten~~~
I love Chris watching Dustin kitten, and Mark becomes so humanbeing, haha
and your pictures of kittens are so cute, melting my heart!

Date: 2011-08-20 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
Thank you! I really want a Dustin kitten, too. ♥

Date: 2011-08-24 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] indecentexposed.livejournal.com
maggie maggie maggie. i need you to know that i have just finished reading this, for possibly the fiftieth time, and i am every bit as stupidly smiley as i was the first time through. this is just beyond delightful, and it is currently fixing everything in my life. ♥

Date: 2011-08-24 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisysusan.livejournal.com
♥♥ I'm so glad it's helping fix everything in your life (while also sad that there is anything that might need fixing because you are flawless and your life should be correspondingly flawless).

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